“Snip with style! 1950s barber grins wildly while wielding scissors in this cheeky vintage safety diagram—because bad haircuts are no joke!” (25 words) *(Captures the retro instructional parody tone with ironic humor in the requested style)*
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Sharp wit meets sharper shears—vintage barber charm!” (9 words)
*(Nails the retro cheekiness with concise flair)*