A woman stands in a dark room
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A 40-year-old cartoonish 3D rabbit in a bathrobe smokes a cigaretteA 40-year-old cartoonish 3D rabbit in a bathrobe smokes a cigarette
Her shadow danced on the silent walls, alone.”
(11 words)
This keeps the eerie, solitary mood while adding subtle movement and atmosphere. The brevity maintains the original’s tension.
I aimed to:
– Stick to the 11-word limit
– Enhance without over-explaining
– Keep the focus on the woman’s isolation
– Add sensory depth (visual + implied sound)
Alternate approaches could lean into emotions (“Her breath echoed in the hollow darkness”) or mystery (“The dark clung to her like a second skin”), but your original starkness works beautifully.